Happy birthday Imani: 8

As happy and proud I am of you growing up and finding your wings,

tonight there is also unspeakable grief.

How did 8 years fly us by?

It is so true what they say,

the days are long but the years are short.

Somehow I kept thinking you would always be my little curly headed toddler,

spinning around barefoot, full of mischief and creativity, never sitting still,

Quick with a hug and a giggle and a tantrum.

But you are on your way to womanhood now, growing up lithe and graceful, polite and sensitive, still with your little meltdowns, but

learning new things every day.

To my only daughter,

I wish for you:

love

safety and comfort

creativity

~ empowerment ~

independence

strength

joy

and happiness.

 always, and forever and ever,

your loving mama.

Weekend roundup

I have been using my phone to photograph more and more, and really its become a discipline to bring out the bulky camera,  one that I worked on a bit this weekend, amid the gazillion of small things that otherwise took up our time.

I have decided that as an artist, wife and mother of 3 young children all there are are fleeting moments of beauty,I look over amid the bustle and something catches my eye, a composition, a detail, a juxtaposition of patterns, a gradation of colors, a stream of light.

Here are a few randoms from our weekend, that was spent mostly home, where else?

I love that we have a free open art table, because the kids will grab a paper and just draw, or paint, then run off to something else.I find the treasures later

I caption this"fatigue"

our first garden salad happened

 re vamping the patio

Zi brought home is crochet project from school, wow his color choices, the shape, everything, so gorgeous. How proud am I??

then him and his dad made a wooden gun thingy, less proud, but boys will be boys?

malawi and Imani played and played and played, i loved that this was a mama (white) with a baby (brown) as paired by the mind of sweet little malawi and his dirty fingers

just a girl in her pj's picking flowers

her flower pot, every year I let her choose her flowers and plant two pots

sorry neighbors, i think some of your peonies may have ended up being part of the "pink flower macaroni, pink kale salad, pink cake,pink chicken etc meal the kids prepared me

green onion,how beautiful

present for a baby shower (I guess we did leave the house)

I worked on this dreamcatcher while M napped, not sure why the colors are so drab (they're really not!) couldn't get it to photograph well

mola mask from Panama, a crab

the cousins had some sprinkler fun in the sun

finished planting the garden, made a bamboo trellis for the beans

Happy monday, last week of school!

she says pulling out her hair...

A party for baby M

 Baby M's parties kept going all week! first he got a made by mama cake, and singing with our family on his actual birth-day,  then a sweet little celebration at school with his teacher and classmates (cake and whipped cream there too!) and finally a fun party at our house yesterday, whew

our house,  food spread

this cute lil baby joined the party

Z helped with presents

and so did little friend A

we has some pretty cute friends over i must say

and this is M crashed out on my bed at the end of his party, good times!

It was so much fun having all our friends and family over,

 and a whirlwind too, almost impossible to be host, kid wrangler

 and photographer all at once, so forgive me, these photos were the best i could do.

Hard to believe little M is three now.

Bittersweet, as we so enjoy having a little one around, cant imagine life without a baby/toddler in the house! 

they add such levity, but upwards they do grow...

Happy weekend

Malawi, 3 years

3 years ago I didnt take many pictures, and was in possession solely of a little point and shoot camera, which  I am so grateful I had.

This photo was taken the day before I went into labour with him, standing in our tiny kitchen.

I know we all believe our births to have been magical an prophetic, and certainly they are, but the day of M's birth, the night really, felt so powerful and auspicious, the sky was doing wild things

there was the most gigantic full moon in cancer

The actual photos of his birth I cannot share here, though i treasure them deeply, and revisit them often, like last night with the children.

Sadly it was a couple of days before  his daddy finally got to hold little M, I love how he fits in his one hand

he had the most beautiful head of hair

his bewildered siblings visited for the first time

and his grandma held him

Steves face.

we finally got him home.

Baby M spent an entire week, sunday to sunday in the NICU, 

Contrary to other parents experiences, where they believe the hospital and staff were "saving their baby" and "doing all they could" we felt trapped in a system based on fear of malpractice, overcaution and medical bureaucracy, but that is another story....

Our lives truly started once we took him safely home.

Every child adds something to this world, and comes neatly wrapped in a package of lessons, challenges and gifts, every child of mine has stretched me and taught me things i needed to know, challenged and delighted me, but baby M's legacy has been pure love, its as if the universe dropped the most rounded little being into our laps and said "here, go ahead, love him and be loved back".

Thats it, 

there has been nothing else.

I still worry that we wont get to keep him.

So here's to 3 joy filled years, chin chin, happy born day baby M.